(Note: this is a fairly sleep-deprived ramble. Coherency is optional)
So I've been thinking about relationships. And how much I suck at all that boy/girl stuff. Like... epic suck.
Everyone always says that you're supposed to just tell him. You know? Because you might end up regretting it if you never say anything. I mean, good heavens... even Gideon Emery told me that. (Gideon, will you be my personal love guru? Please?) And I believe it. I really do. I wish I could just... do it. I'm not even really talking about a specific situation here (or maybe I am a little bit... but if I am it's def NOT the same guy I was talking about a few weeks ago. Def.) but just in general. Guys freak me out. I mean, not guys, but... guys I have feelings for. I act all confident and stuff but when it comes down to brass tacks, I'm really just scared.
And anyway, people say to just tell them how you feel... but no one seems to want to elaborate on exactly how I'm supposed to go about doing that. I mean, what, do I just send him a txt that's all like HAY GUESS WHUT I <3 U? Yeah. No. Like, what's the not-awkward and embarassing way to do it?
Especially when I'm like 75% sure the feelings are reciprocated?
And it's different if it's someone I already know and/or have known for a while compared to someone I don't really know at all. Like... for example, it'd be much easier for me to flirt with someone I hardly know, like the guy at church. (Even though I always wimp out and never do. But we're not gonna talk about that.) It's like, the longer I've known him and the closer friends we are the harder it would be to admit that I developed feelings for him other than friendship.
I... I don't want to make an ass of myself. And I'm totally sure I would.
Did I mention I really, really suck at this whole relations-with-males thing? Like a lot?