6.25.2008

the conclusion.

We are so over Minnesota boy now, guys.

I'm not ticked that he wasn't interested. In fact, I'm very at peace with that, because I knew all along that's what he was going to say. No, I told him in my original letter that it was fine with me if he wasn't interested. And I wasn't lying.

The way he said things. That's what hurt.

Ok let me start by saying that I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, no matter how pissed I am at him. I know he is male, and males are inherently idiots. I'm fairly sure he didn't mean to come across as an asshole.

Doesn't change the fact that he totally did.

So I sent him my letter, right? Personally, I thought it was a really good letter. Pretty well-written and everything... I had a friend read over it first, make sure I didn't sound like some stupid 15 year old or anything. Well, it took him two days to answer it.

Wanna know what took him two days to write? It was one line. One line that said, "Yeah, I kinda figured you did for a while."

Damn. Could that have possibly come out more arrogantly and ass-hole-y? I was kind of in shock. Then I proceeded to curse and throw things around the house for a pretty long time. I felt really hurt and unjustified. I mean, how was it fair for me to bear my soul, and not even get a yes or no?

So I waited a day to write him back, because I knew bad, bad things would happen if I wrote to him in that emotional state. The next day I wrote back and basically asked him, well ok... how do you feel about the situation? Reciprocation? No?

Then he bounced an email right back that said, are you ready for this: Oh, I thought that was already established: you're not my type.

....


Right. Like I said, it's not that he said no. Not at all. I mean, seriously, would a nice little "wow, that really means a lot to me, but I think it's best if we just stayed friends" have killed him? I guess it would have.

You know, though, I'm really really grateful that I don't have the body image issues I used to have when I was younger, when I was anorexic in high school. Because, that conversation that he was referring to when he said I'm "not his kind of girl"? He basically told me he likes skinny, waifish girls with long flowing hair. Thank God I'm secure in my self-worth. That kind of think might have killed me just a few years ago.

So anyway. I'm extremely over him. And you know, I'm really grateful. I have absolutely no regrets about this whole thing. I mean, it's not like I was a fawning little lovesick puppy over this guy. Trust me, I'd be the first one to admit it if I was. But it's still nice to just have that whole thing cleared out of my mind.

Now I can move on to bigger and better things.

2 comments:

MzHartz said...

When I was a teenager, a group of us giggly teenage girls always went to Summerfest-type stuff. Craft shows, free concerts in the park, etc. Sometimes we would all agree that a particular guy was hot. Somehow that always ended up with everyone daring me to approach the guy.

Most of the guys said Thanks. But one guy said, "yeah," in a tone like, "I already know that." We all agreed that he wasn't really that cute after that.

I would bet you're looking for a guy that would care about you. This one obviously doesn't give a damn. Screw him.

P.S. Wait, that didn't sound right. Forget him.

skye black said...

Ohmygaw. If only I was there to beat his head with a stick.

Violent acts aside, glad you're okay. He's not worth fussing over.