kind of blah.

Christmas break. It was about time.

I'm not totally stoked about the fact that school's out for the Winter, because I have work to do for my programming class that I hate, and I'm also scared to check my grades. It's not so bad to be home, though. As long as my folks don't drive me insane. They're trying, though.

So I liked this guy. I was under the impression he might like me too, but he didn't at all. He actually liked this other girl, apparently a lot. But before I found out that he didn't like me, I'd already decided I could do better than him. It was still kind of a downer when I realized that he never actually liked me in the first place. But now I see that he's one of those insta-serious boyfriend-types, which actually suprised me because he's older. I want someone who's just more... chill about the whole dating thing. Let's relax and have a good time, and not be thinking about marriage and if we're marriage material and whatnot on the first date. Let's just see if we can get along and have a good time in a... not-platonic way. Is that honestly so hard? Is that a concept so foreign to young men's minds? Apparently so.

The stupid thing is that even though I knew I didn't want him before, and I know it even more so now... it still bothers me. I actually liked him for a pretty long time, even though I was in denial for a lot of it. Why can't I just not care, like I know I want to?

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