insomniac, reprise. commence ramble.

Ugh. It's been months and months since the last time I had to get up at night due to insomnia. It's been worse recently. I wonder if it has anything to do with that herbal-therapy I started for my allergies? Hmm... I don't know, but it's awfully annoying. I've been so tired recently. I'm just lying there and I can't turn my brain off and I go through all these 'what ifs', you know? They're not bad what-ifs, they're actually good ones. Those good ones that I know will never come true because my luck is never that good. But it's fun to think. Sometimes I'll get creepy bad what-ifs, too, though not that much. Like ones where someone dies or I seriously injure myself or something... they don't scare me, though. I'll think on them for ages and suddenly realize what I'm doing and make myself stop. It's so wierd. No, but tonight were the positive what-ifs. Buh, don't you hate when a boy crawls in your skull and just kind of lodges himself there and taunts you? You know what I mean? I am completely and utterly rambling. It's because I'm really tired but not sleepy. Or really sleepy but not tired. Or something. My brain isn't working but it won't shut up and sleep. So instead I ramble. A lot. Doesn't really matter, hardly anyone reads this. Unless lots of people followed the link I put on facebook. Which is kind of a freaky thought. But I don't really care. My life is a freaking open book, man. I'm terrible at hiding stuff. I don't care if people know I'm mean or a freak or a nerd. Which I am. I wonder when I got so cynical, anyway. I used to be bubbly, you know. In high school I was a freaking social butterfly, can you even imagine that? Now I know like two people. I wonder what happened. I got old. Heh, no. I want to get old though. I want to not be a college student. I wish I wasn't anymore. I hate dorm life, I hate classes. I want out. I think if I could live off campus next semester it'd help, but oh well. I'm probably just going to hide myself far away in my room. Bury myself in my art, or something. I don't really care. There are just so many people around... and so many of them are annoying or stupid.

...I should go to bed.

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