rrgh.

I feel very scatterbrained. Then again, is that anything new? I'm thinking no.

I've been so craft-y recently. I've gotten into freezer-paper stenciling, which is awesome coolness. I made a pretty Mike shirt. Heh. I found the coolest Tux (ya know, Linux?) stencil that I want to try out.

I'm kind of wigging out about the fact that I don't know what I'm doing over spring break. Or summer break. Or next year, when I graduate. Nnn. I had been so good about not obsessively compulsively planning out everything, but it's been kind of bad recently. It's the summer thing that's really worrying me. I mean, I could stay here (work in tech services? Maybe?...) but, I don't know. I don't really want to be on campus for all of eternity again. I wonder if Ben will be working there this summer. I wonder if that makes me not want to work there more. I don't like being around people who don't like me.

So, ok, I don't stay at school. But where the heck else can I go? Not home. Not to St. Louis, at least not with Jan & Ron. I mean, I could for a while, but I can't be there for July, and I can't just move around because I need a job. I'm currently toying with the idea of going home with Merlin then working at her camp for the summer. Not as a councelor, that scares me waaay too much. Maybe as an activity leader. Or, it says something on the application as a photographer/web person... maybe.

I DON'T KNOW. And I hate not knowing. Mrrgh.

Bleah.

Merlin and I are going out for a fancy pants dinner on Sunday, for Valentine's. I'm excited. We're going to Kanpai... that reminds me, I should make reservations. I'm also excited about Founder's "Singles Awareness Night" party. Heeh. They're having a man-raffle. I'm not participating, but I think it's funny. Last year, my RA won seven men. It was amazing.

I think I'm gonna go make a duct-tape purse. Calm my nerves.